Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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