Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Everything about him screamed your future.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
