dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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