Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
