That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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