Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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