She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
