Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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