ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
