My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
