I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
