U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
