How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
