I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
