Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
