So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
