I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
