duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
