Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
