it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
