I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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