i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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