My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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