He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
