glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
