Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
