Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bring me that man meat
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