windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
