It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
