I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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