I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
