so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am naked and annoyed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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