whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
