finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish you could order shots online.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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