her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
