Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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