He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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