Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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