1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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