I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
