I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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