I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
