i think my mom watched the whole time
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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