Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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