My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She said her name was "party"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
