So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
