GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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