Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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