I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
