OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
