I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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