god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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