So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
