i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
