i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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