We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think my tv is drunk
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
